Hipster scripture | Lord’s Prayer edition

Our mustachioed Father,

which does art in heaven

Cool before there was cool be thy Name.

Thy repurposed and upcycled Kingdom come.

Thy will be done in earth,

As it is in heaven.

Give us this day our daily gluten free bread.

And forgive us our faux pas,

As we forgive them that faux pas against us.

And lead us not into the main stream,

But deliver us from Walmart.

For thine is the beer garden,

The French press,

and the Instagram,

For ever and ever.


Written by Ethan Dexter, who’s been praying since before it was cool.